In a sense the marketing campaign has been regrettable, because although it certainly won't be nominated for a Booker Prize it's definitely a cut above the 21st century Mills and Boon that I was expecting.
For me the key themes that the book highlights are trust and respect. Christian may try to woo Ana with an array of expensive gifts and gadgets, but that's not what she's interested in. On one hand he offers her a relationship that he says can liberate her, yet on the other hand he wants total control of her, and it's this paradox that underpins the tension of the book.
In contrast Ana wants Christian to commit to her emotionally as well as physically, and for that reason she has a lot of serious reservations about literally signing herself away to him. But if the contents are so inoffensive and the books are so popular, then why did I feel the need to purchase it anonymously with a supermarket self-scanning machine, and then hide it from everyone else on my train home? I suppose it's because of two lingering worries; first of all that it's a book for women, and secondly that I might have looked a bit dodgy.
Were either of these concerns valid? Probably not. Sex is an important communication tool in a relationship: Sex is not a mechanical act. Sex is a whole lot more than penetration: Women want romance. Know that the journey is more important than the destination. Slow down and enjoy the scenery along the way.
Intimacy demands trust: At the heart of romantic relationships is an intimacy that is borne of trust. Women must be able to trust their men. This requires their men to be trustworthy. Of course it does not tell us that. What it tells us is this: Women are interested in sex. This may be obvious to women, but, trust me, it is not obvious to men. In fact, it is contrary to everything men are led to believe, dating back to puberty. When a young man goes through puberty, he basically turns into a walking boner.
He would happily have sex with any receptive female or room-temperature vegetable. He thinks about having sex all the time, but the only person he knows who wants to have sex with him is himself. He would be very interested in having sex with an actual human female, but he has no earthly idea how to accomplish this.
Generally he spends years in this frustrating state before he manages to find a woman willing to have sex with him. Some males become so desperate that they resort to paying for sex, or even running for Congress. As a result of these experiences, men come to believe—and this belief is reinforced throughout their dating lives as they get shot down more often than the Egyptian Air Force—that women are nowhere near as interested in sex as they are; that women are capable, somehow, of not thinking about sex for entire minutes at a time.
So men exist in a state of perpetual confusion about when, exactly, human females are receptive to the idea of having sex. Men wish that women had some kind of clear signaling mechanism, as is found in other species. Dogs, for example.
Years ago I had a female German shepherd puppy named Shawna. For the first few months of her existence, she exhibited no interest whatsoever in having sex with male dogs, and the male dogs in the neighborhood exhibited no particular interest in her. And then one spring day, BAM , Shawna became a woman. To get the word out, she turned into a 50,watt AM hormone transmitter, broadcasting a scent that traveled vast distances at the speed of lust.
Horny male dogs were showing up from as far away as New Zealand. The house was surrounded, day and night. There were no misunderstandings between the genders; nobody was being subtle. This went on for several tense days. And then, BAM , Shawna was over it. She stopped broadcasting and the males disappeared, and shortly thereafter Shawna was fixed and she never heard from the male dogs again, not even a postcard.
Unfortunately, human sexuality does not work this way, except on Jersey Shore. Human females are less obvious, which means human males must be able to pick up subtle cues, and unfortunately we are terrible at this. This is why the immense popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey is actually great news for men. Christian has safe words and all sorts of things to protect his lady friends. Wow, my parents must be cringing just as much as my inner Jane Austen fan.
The first book is full of racy, scandalous scenes, but how else is an author supposed to sell a book in modern-day society? I read non-racy books. I swear. The series actually turns into a worthwhile, intelligent read by books two and three, with thoughtful character development and surprisingly suspenseful plot twists. But is that really so bad either? Cancel reply. Your email address will not be published. I so agree! I thought ALL 3 books were funny, witty, and yes, one can read them in a night or day!
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